A Timeline to the Finish Line

{This post is intensely lengthy.  Hey, this experience was 5.5 months in the making.  

It deserves its fair share of blog space.}

November 2009:  Sign up for the Ogden Half Marathon.  13.1 miles of pavement.

December 1, 2009:  Reacquaint myself with running after taking a 5 month hiatus.

December 2, 2009:  Curse myself for taking a 5 month hiatus from running and form a deep and immediate abhorrence for the treadmill.

January 15, 2010:  Run outdoors in St. George and make a formal declaration that I will never run on a treadmill again.  Ever.  Ever.  Never. Ever. Never. 

January 17, 2010:  Never.  Ever.

February 8, 2010:  Frozen sweat.  Gross.

February 27, 2010: Run 8 miles for the first time in my life.

March 6, 2010:  Run 9.5 miles for the first time in my life.

March 20, 2010:  11 miles.

April 10, 2010:  Evaluate damage done to toenails.  Pleasantly surprised that only 1 nail will be lost this time around as opposed to 5 during my Ragnar training. 

April 12 - May 10, 2010:  Run.  Run.  Run.  Try and keep my negative "I'm-not-cut-out-for-this-stuff-and-I'm-more-of-a-shuffler-than-a-runner-and-What-the-crap-have-I-gotten-myself-into-and-Can't-I-just-sleep-in-today-and-Why-did-I-use-1o-pounds-of-butter-during-my-Christmas-baking-and-Running-is-for-idiots" thoughts at bay.

May 10, 2010:  Sore throat starts developing.  Kids have been sick and I've gathered several of their germs.  Mentally will myself to stay healthy for just a few more days.

May 11, 2010:  Mother Nature delivers a gift. Superb.

May 12, 2010:  Kaboom!  Race anxiety hits full force.  Life stinks.  Body is fighting a full-fledged cold.  Would anyone notice if I didn't show up at the starting line?  

May 14, 2010:  Mind swirling with cloudy thoughts of self doubt.  My body is extremely tired from the mental stress and physically drained from fighting off sickness.  I pick up my race packet in Ogden.  See my running hero, Rita. Quick hug and words of encouragement. Go home and kneel in sincere prayer. I've worked so hard for this.  Mind is calmed and put to ease.  Dad brings over huge pot of his famous spaghetti.  Carb loading is delicious.  Phone calls to Chadwick and then Mindy - friends who will be running too.  Realizing that there is only one way to get past this experience and that is to run through it. Jeff gives me a priesthood blessing that assures me everything will be fine. I finally feel at peace.  Take an Advil PM at 7:30 p.m. to help me sleep restfully. In bed by 9:00 p.m.

May 15, 2010:  Race Day

3:15 a.m. - Advil PM wears off.  I am wide awake.

3:25 a.m. - Still awake.  Try counting porta-potties to get back to sleep but that just makes me need to pee.  

3:26 a.m. -  Pee.

3:45 a.m. - This is ridiculous.  If I go to sleep now, I'll have one more hour of rest before the alarm clock goes off. 

4:45 a.m. - Must have fallen back to sleep because it seems like just 5 minutes pass, when 4 alarm clocks go off.  2 in our bedroom.  1 on the kitchen stove.  1 on the toaster oven. Pat myself on the back that my propensity for being slightly OCD does come in handy at times.

4:46 a.m. - Call sister-in-law, Carene, to make sure they're awake and will be to my house on time.  Take a quick shower, pass on the make-up, dress in running gear.  Take a minute to reassess toenail damage.  The final count of toenails to be lost is 4.  Will I ever have normal feet again?  Eat a yogurt. Take 2 Pepto Bismol tablets.  Just. In. Case.

5:15 a.m. -  Leave my house in Farmington headed towards the starting line in Eden.  Choke down a half of PB & J sandwich and breakfast drink.  Feel mostly excited and only slightly nervous and surprisingly wide awake.

6:00 a.m. -  Arrive in Eden.  The energy is awesome and the realization of the day hits me.  I'm about to run 13.1 miles with 2,000 people!  So proud of my niece, Chante, and her friend, Lindsey, for committing to and training for this race.  Both are students at BYU-Idaho so their lives are busy.  Glad they're here with me.

6:20 a.m. - Hit the porta-potty.  Bump into Kennedy's friend, Grey, who is also running the half.  Give him a big hug, but then realize - by the look on his face - that 14 year old young men don't necessarily expect (nor want) hugs from their friend's moms. Oh, well.  I'm a huggy person.  Chat with friend, Chadwick.  Head to the field to stretch.  Hit the porta-potty one last time.  

6:55 a.m. - Head to pace section of the starting line (where's the 11 minute mile flag, people?!) and pass Mindy, Melodi, and Ned. Give quick hugs and then get to our spot.

7:00 a.m. - Race starts!  Can't believe that I'm here, fulfilling a goal in an area that I really feel quite inept.  5 1/2 months of training.  261.6 miles run since January 1.  Hours spent doing something completely out of my natural comfort zone and not altogether enjoyable for somebody like me, yet coming away from it a stronger person both physically and mentally.  I can do hard things.  My perfectionistic tendencies make me want to shy away from things where I don't feel like I shine - things that I don't excel at.  But that's exactly why I need to be up in Eden on an early Saturday morning.  To do something hard for the sake of doing something hard and being OK with just finishing.  Being perfectly imperfect and forcing myself to learn to be content.  Coloring outside the neat and tidy lines that I have drawn in my mind.  

Miles 1 - 4 went very quickly and I was so caught up in the friendly smiles of the locals and race volunteers.  These miles were spent running around Pineview Reservoir.  At mile 4, we crossed the dam and headed down Ogden Canyon. Miles 4 - 10 were downhill and I appreciated the aid of gravity.  The scenery was gorgeous, the people were amazing and it made perfect sense why people get so addicted to this sport - race day is an incredible experience. Consumed a GU at mile 4 and 8 and was happy that I didn't gag.  At mile 6 some teenage punks were riding down the canyon on skateboards. I asked one of them if I could have a ride. Lost track of Chante and Lindsey around mile 4.5 but rejoined them at around mile 7....I think.  Miles 5 - 8 were a blur. At mile 9, I think I regained brain power because I remember telling Chante that we only had 4 miles to go.  My motherly instinct kicked in and I knew that I had to be strong for Chante (who was starting to pose doubts). Miles 10 - 13 took me to the fun game of mental running.  At this point I was really quite done with the whole thing and just wanted to be finished for the day. My legs kept moving, albeit substantially slower than before, and I just kept telling myself not to stop.  The last half mile was on a city street in downtown Ogden.  I knew I had 5 blocks to go. I kept counting the stop lights but I swear I was in a nightmarish time warp because they didn't seem to be getting any closer.  That seriously was the longest half mile of my life.  I remember the race announcer calling my name as I approached the end, waving to the crowd, and then crossing the finish line.

My time was 02:26:44.  This running time, I'll have you know, is about the speed that molasses flows in the dead of winter, but it's my time and I'll take it. I wanted to be under 2.5 hours, so I met my goal.  I've never claimed to be fast or even moderately quick.  I am slow but I am a finisher.  I ran 92% of the time (that is a mathematical fact) so I'm proud that I didn't just fake it - I really did run a half marathon.

Once I crossed over the finish line, I heard my family shouting my name.  They were off to the left just past the finish line so I tearfully wobbled over to them, said, "I did it.  I'm tired.", then gave Jeff a quick hug.  I found Chante who crossed the finish about a minute ahead of me, and who, by the way, threw up just after crossing the end (along with a whole lotta other people).  I think that is awesome! It's not cool because of the puking part, but because she pushed herself to the point of physical exhaustion, kept it together, sprinted to the end, and finished.  

Be so glad there is no smell attached to this picture.  My, oh, my!

I trained.

I ran.

I finished.

And feel very content with doing so.