The Acceptance Speech That Was Never Delivered

I had my speech ready.

You know, the speech that I was going to give to my future BFF who has never met me nor heard of me nor knows that we even exist on the same planet.

Or in the same galaxy.

I had visions of walking up to her, graciously accepting my autographed copy of her sold out book (I had 2 copies waiting for me...prepaid...HA!) and delivering a bouquet of words and emotions so eloquent and articulate that she would stammer to reciprocate a response. Overwhelmed and flustered with excitement and equal adoration, she would grab her camera, snap a picture of me (actually multiple pictures of me and a few of Kennedy and my step mom), and dedicate an entire post to our introduction - the night she met her newest soul sister and confidante in the great state of Utah.

In my mind's eye, it worked out so well.  We hugged.  She even cried a little. She grabbed her cell phone and dialed up the Marlboro Man so that she could share the good news with him. He wasn't bothered with the call being so late (time zones and all). He was just ecstatic for her that this book tour could have given her such a gift.  

The gift of me.

The next call would be made to Hyacinth, her previous BFF.  Words would be exchanged, I would look away pretending I didn't hear the sobs and shrieking on the other end of her conversation, and that would be it.

I would be in the numero uno spot.

I won't boast about all of the details, but just know that they would have included scheduled lunch dates, a planned trip to the ranch (where I'd cook with her pots and pans in the Lodge), and Christmas shopping and baking. Little ol' me and the Pioneer Woman.  

Having such a colorful and detailed imagination isn't always healthy.

Can you tell?

Screeching back to reality (for just a moment), here's how the night really went down.

We enjoyed Brittan's birthday celebration (pictures and details coming soon). Around 7:30 p.m. Kennedy and I headed into SLC to meet my step mom at the King's English bookstore. When we arrived after 8:00 p.m., we saw hoards of fans standing outside waiting to get their glimpse of PW. Accessing the situation and talking to people who had already been there for 2 1/2 hours, we determined that it would have taken us at least 3 hours to get to her.  

Add in a couple more hours for my speech deliverance, lengthy phone calls made (see above), hugging, sharing pictures of our kids, recipe swapping, future visits scheduling, and so on and so forth, it would have been 3:00 a.m. before we got out of there. 

Selfless mother act #9,532, I grabbed my book and left so that Kennedy could get to bed at a decent time.  

Boy, she owes me BIG time.