A Few of Life's Lessons I Learned at Disneyland

Lesson #1:  If you are 5' 9" tall and you go to Disneyland with 5 highly entertaining ladies who are 5 feet nothin' or shorter, you will look like a freak of nature.  You will appear to be the tallest woman in the world.  

Lesson #2:  Even if you slouch down to try and mesh with the group, you will still look gargantuan.  

You'll simply look like a giant who has bad posture.

Lesson #3:  Wanna make the males in your life happy?  Bring them home a cool Star Wars character car.   A surefire winner.  

(I still look massive...even sitting down :(

Lesson #4:  There is nothing more enjoyable than seeing 4 "Tower of Terror Virgins" wait in anticipation for their first ride.  Randee, Summer and Cheryl were terrified but G'ma was quite oblivious to what was about to take place.

Lesson #5:  Never be fooled by a person's size.  My friend, Randee, is itty bitty but sat next to me on Tower of Terror and about broke my arm.  See the joy she has on her face?  She squeezed my arm with the strength of a boa constrictor.  I still have no feeling in my fingers.

Lesson #6:  I should join the circus.  Freak....

Lesson #7:  Huge personalities can be packaged into little people.  Here are Summer and Paige, Randee's sisters.  Summer was our accountant/park navigator/line leader the entire trip.  She talks a mile a minute has a TON of spunk and was loads of fun.  While Paige is more laid back, easy going, and the peacemaker, she is hilarious and has a zest for life.

Lesson #8:  Males of all species are the same.  Even Briar Bear was trying to pick up on a pretty little lady.

Lesson #9:  If you are going to attempt a tricky dance maneuver (because you're consumed by the beat of the music and you have an empty stage), make sure you stretch first.  You might pull a hamstring or groin muscle and end up in pain.  I apologize for not having a picture of the actual dance move described.  Rest assured, it was diva-licious.

Lesson #10:  Avoid standing behind smelly teenagers who want to audition for American Idol while in line.  But, if the need is warranted, sing back at them to put them in their place.  Be aware that it doesn't really give you much street cred and it could possibly shake your future chances of being invited on a Girls' Getaway.  Sorry, Randee.  I will behave next time and keep my broadway musicality to myself.

Lesson #10:  Volcanoes are not just in Hawaii.  They are also found in Downtown Disney.

Lesson #11:  When the new Toy Story ride has a 40 minute wait, just jump in the Single Rider line.  15 minutes and you're on one of the coolest new kids' rides out there.

Lesson #12:  My friend Randee really is my soul sister.   She's even called us twins separated by 10 years.  We have so much in common and are both Disneyland fanatics.  She's dang cool and can rock a Pirate's dew rag. 

Lesson #13:  Snow White had several additional, altered dwarfs that are pictured here with me: Sassy, Zippy, Mellow, Smiley, and Snazzy. 

Lesson #14:  You can NEVER be overenthusiastic!!!!!!!!

Lesson #15:  Apparently I vacationed with a pregnant gangsta'.  Paige, are you flashin' a sign? 

Lesson #16:  You can fall in love with a little, green balding creature.

Lesson #17:  I'm a modern day Annie Oakley.

Lesson # 18:  Disney makes a boatload of money getting people to buy up souvenirs while caught up in the magic of Disneyland.  Imagine waking up the morning after returning home from vacation and thinking, "Where the crap am I going to wear this?"

Lesson #19:  Pregnant women can enjoy Disneyland to its FULLEST!  Paige received the complete and total go ahead from her doctor to go on ANY RIDE SHE WANTED!  17 weeks along and she went on everything.  She was awesome.

Lesson #20:  The musty, damp air of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride is good for the soul.  I could breathe it in all day.  Smells can be so nostalgic.

Lesson #21:  When in doubt, buy it.  And if you're on the fence, Cheryl will make sure she pushes you over to the purchasing side.

Lesson #22:  Yoda has my back.

Lesson #23:  I will never travel without these.  They are a life saver.  Winnie the Pooh is not the only one who gets rumbly in his tumbly.

Lesson #24:  You can verbally be adopted by a circle of sisters.  That's exactly what these fun and lively ladies did with me and I appreciate them all.  I had a blast and it was awesome to be surrounded by such diverse personalities and to be included so warmly.  Thanks Randee for the invite and thanks Summer, Paige, Cheryl, and G'ma for letting me tag along.  

Until next time, Punks!