Today For Show and Tell, I'd Like to Share...

....a few mismatched anecdotes.

1. I have discovered a cure for worldwide anger and hostility. A method of ridding the earth of filthy speech bubbles dangling above most people's heads. I think this is truly the answer for a kinder and gentler mankind. I present to you Shakespearean Slander.

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Someone cuts you off in traffic. Why not throw out a quip like, "Thou dankish milk-livered pumpion!" The offender could call back to you, "Thou mammering beef-witted canker-blossom!" By the time you both figured out what the heck you were actually being called, tempers would have cooled, animosity would have waned, smiles could be exchanged, and you both would come away a little more cultured. Imagine if you lobbed these insults with a fake English accent? Huzzah! How can you take an insult like, "Thou beslubbering hedge-born apple-john" seriously?

2. Critics in the world might challenge the worth and merit of Facebook. I'll admit that I've wondered about those exact things from time to time. But last week, when my daughter was chatting on FB with a friend from her seminary class and he suggested that they both read their nightly assignment in the scriptures and then tell each other about it through Facebook's messaging, I saw a whole new value placed on this social network phenomenon.

This was his 15 year old entertaining synopsis of the chapter he read.

"so I read in alma 22 when Ammons Bro Aaron is brought before king Lamoni. Aaron like offered to be Lamoni's servent but instead He just taught Lamoni the gospel. Lamoni was like a way good guy everything that Aaron said he believed, that guy had some major faith! He was filled with the spirit so much that he fell over like he was dead. then when his wife came in she got [ticked] and ordered her servants to kill Aaron but they wouldnt cuz they had heard him testifying to Lamoni and knew that he was a man of god. so that just made the queen even more [ticked] off. Aaron saw that it was a bad situation so he raised King Lamoni out of his heavenly stupor. Then Lamoni was like super filled with the spirit so he preached to his wife and all of his servants and they were all converted to the lord. Lamoni sent out a proclaimation that nobody could hurt Aaron and that he could preach freely. Yea so then like all the Lamanites are converted and a people that was once way wicked turned to richousness because of the faith of Aaron. I like this because its sorta shows the chain reaction of missionary work, and how many lives we can change by our good examples."

At the end of their discussion, Kennedy's friend said that he really did feel the spirit. They agreed that they would do this type of studying more often because it would keep them more motivated knowing someone was on-line counting on them.

3. Eating 500 lbs. of macadamia nuts in a week's time is surely a delicious way to pack on the weight. Even if you try and offset that 500 lbs. of manna with hikes, fighting the waves in the ocean, walking, paddle boarding, touring, and praying (we did go to church), you will still come home more paunchy than when you left.

Let's get serious. You really don't want to hear about our glorious vacation. I will spare you the fantastic details. But I've had several people tell me they are waiting for a post about our 7 days of fun. Here are a few pics.

We traveled with our best buds, Jeremy and Randee. We left SLC's 8 degrees to bask in Hawaii's 82 degrees.

Paddle boarding

First stop we made after landing in our tropical paradise? COSTCO!

Note to self: Don't travel with beautiful people. But if you do, don't have your pictures taken with them.

Volcanoes. Randee and I wanted to poke lava with a stick. No such luck. However, we did get a nice steam facial at one of the view points.

Hiking to Akaka Falls

Washing down macadamia nuts with a Mormon-friendly-Pina-Colada.

Yeah, that is my husband doing a cannon ball. Notice no children around? Woot woot!

The precious couple

Something about size mattering....

A highlight of the trip for me. A memory quick to be forgotten for Randee.

Stalker alert! If you are a guy and wear nothing but a red thong on the beach, I WILL casually walk by you and take a picture.

Hot cross brown buns should not be shared with the general population, folks.

Ah, sweet...

Although my beloved Steelers lost the Super Bowl, the defeat was less painful due to the fact that we watched it pool side.

Church in Kona

4. Potty training (and the lack thereof) stinks.

5. If you are a bread-dunked-in-EVOO-and-balsamic-vinegar type of person, you MUST try this product out. I bought it at Smith's. It is a balsamic reduction so it is thicker than your average balsamic vinegar and it is heavenly. Give it a chance, won't you?