The votes have been tallied.
The verdict is in.
As of today, 2 out of 4 (that's 50% for you non-mathematicians) of my children say that I am not cool and I am extremely embarrassing.
(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
You may recall that I have dealt with this devastating blow before. You can read about the horrific details here. I guess I had just hoped that it was a fleeting moment of moody judgement on my daughter's part or that she had just eaten something for lunch that didn't settle well with her.
But now the problem has grown and it is spreading like a vicious virus - attacking the mom adoring mind of yet another one of my offspring.
2 down and 2 to go.
I try and convince my eldest kids that I am fun. I like to laugh and have a good time. I have friends who like me and think that I am the bomb.com. (See I even know the trendy phrases that all the cool peeps are using these days.) I can tease, and socialize, and be spontaneous with the best of them. I'm not that old or that out of it and I really do know what it is like to be in their shoes.
But, alas, they won't budge on their high standards.
I am simply not cool.
In public, I tend to say a friendly "hello" to Taiden's peers and that seals the deal in the my-mother-is-a-huge-embarrassment-please-don't-associate-me-with-her department.
(Since when is saying "hi" such a crime?!)
When shopping for brassieres with my one and only girl, I like to make it entertaining by waving the undergarment in the air just to see her reaction. It's amazing how fast she will scatter and hide in the clothes racks.
(Since when is spontaneity such a forbidden thing?!)
I try and tell them why I am cool. I give them examples of my ultimate coolness at present, but they ain't buying it.
I present exhibits A - D.
I can still water ski even though I'm 103, suffer from the occasional bout of severe gaseousness, and really enjoy classical music.
I'm not afraid to wear a fruit basket on my head and be mistaken for Carmen Miranda on Halloween. (I was the Chaquita Banana Lady, yo.)
Only someone with an excess of coolness could pull off wearing a shower cap on Grizzly River Run. (And look so good doing it.)
See? See? Isn't that all the proof they need?!
They just can't see past my reputation as mom.
So I'm stuck here for awhile.
6 comments:
And to perplex you even further...what do they think of Jeff? Around here Brent is the bomb.com while I have been categorized into the same class as you. Really? The nerdy computer programmer is cool and the former cheerleader, school psychologist who totally knows cool to kids, funny, smackdown-willing mom is a loser, huh? Sheesh!
Rita - Jeff is in the same uncool category as myself, but he is the kinder and gentler uncool parent.
I don't know what your kids are thinking, you are a way cool mom. Your much cooler than I am, but I embrace the uncoolness.
I too have trouble getting my teenagers to see how funny & cool I am. The only satisfaction I get is when I overhear their friends say they think I'm funny. So maybe I'm only a nerd to them and not every teenager in existence?? Maybe I'll be a cool grandma someday!
You're super cool in my book, Kristen! But I'm pretty sure my kids think 'my book' isn't cool.
Uh, Oh....I said, "Hi" to Taiden and stopped to talk about the book he was reading when I saw him sitting out in the hall during SEP conferences the other day. Does he think ALL mom's who say, "Hi" to their kids' friends are dorks, or just his own mom? Because, I think, UNKNOWINGLY, I just committed the most UNCOOL act to him! This post came a little too late for me! Had I known, I could've just put my nose in the air and turned away from Taiden and completely ignored him that day - because that's SO COOL to act like that (?)
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