When Zucchinis Attack

This is the time of year when summer squashes - of all variety - band together in an attempt to overtake the world.

Some people may say that statement is a little extreme, but those people have obviously never planted a garden.

Zucchini, in particular, mass produce in quantities that are startling. Overzealous spring gardeners find themselves up to their gourds in zucchini in the fall. This green, fleshy produce soon becomes a ball and chain in the gardening world - dragging gardeners down with its overwhelming volume that can't go to waste and must be shared with family, neighbors, and strangers far and wide.

We have been recipients of the zucchini dispersal this year. We lightened the load for one friend. The next day a pile was left on our front porch from a neighbor. Guiltily, we did not partake of the zucchini from the produce exchange basket at church (but I could not resist the fresh green onions that someone had brought).

To all you zucchini growers out there who are wondering what-the-heck-you-have-done-to-deserve-this-zucchini-deluge-and-when-will-it-ever-stop, let me offer three bits of advice.

1. Next year, plant 1 singular plant.

2. Hold a neighborhood zucchini race. Build a wooden track, attach your zucchini to some sort of wheeled vehicle (Tonka trucks work great), decorate your zucchini and vehicle in some sort of theme, and let 'em rip. (A friend of mine in Bountiful does this yearly and says it is a blast.)

3. Use some of your crop for this recipe. It is moist and delicious and will soon become a family favorite.

CHOCOLATE ZUCCHINI CAKE

1/2 c. butter or margarine

1/2 c. oil

1 3/4 c. sugar

2 eggs

1 tsp. vanilla

1/2 c. sour milk (let milk + 1 tsp. vinegar sit for a few minutes)

2 1/2 c. flour

1/4 c. cocoa

1 tsp. baking soda

1/2 tsp. salt

1/2 tsp. cinnamon

1/4 tsp. cloves

2 c. grated zucchini

chocolate chips

Cream butter, oil, and sugar. Add eggs, vanilla, and milk. Add/mix in dry ingredients. Stir in zucchini. Pour into greased 9x13" pan and sprinkle chocolate chips on top. Bake at 325 degrees for 45 - 50 minutes.

Post note: Since random acts of zucchini abandonment are widespread in our area, we have installed video recording equipment on our front porch. If you recklessly try and discard any more zucchini on our premises, we will prosecute you to the fullest extent of the horticultural law.